Empty

Today is remarkable as the day of falling apart. i was pulling myself to back as the heart has thrown into pieces. The days passed without noticing it had been gone. The mind has thought only the days where i lost myself, sitting at the bench at madinah hassan, crying alone let go the heart that made to be broken. The moment i thought i will lose myself to that car is vividly fresh. I hurt myself again, emotionally. I hurt myself by hurting someone again. Whats wrong with you, amirah? Have you lost your mind, your head your everything that senses you as a human being? I thought you will be okay, you will be alright you will be the normal person again, but this time i see nothing in you. I see the emptiness in your eyes. 

And you called yourself a good person? You are not generous as people thought you be! Stop pretending you are the best girl in the world while you keep hurting people and tell the world you are in danger! 

You need to realise nobody wants you to be here.!

diari ramadhan #part1

alhamdulillah harini dah masuk 3 ramadhan. harapnya amalan harini, sebelum ni makin meningkat dan berterusan aamiin kan semuaorang! hehehe,

walaupun saya tahu takde siapa yang baca sebab dah tukar link blog tapi takpela, kita acah acah macam ada orang baca. actually lama sangat dah tak menaip pantas begini harap segala typo dapat dimaafkan dan difahami agagagagaga.

ive been through a lot this 2020. tangguh sem, sakit yang taktahu bila kan sembuh, but surely this 2020 has made me realised yang kehidupan ni indah, cuma kita kena belajar bersabar dan redho. you know what, ive been thinking a lot yang kehidupan aku ni sebenarnya indah, cuma aku masih belum merasai indah dan nikmat itu. what in my eyes've told me yang say dikaburi lagi dengan tangisan dan ketidak keikhlasan seorang kawan, orang orang sekeliling. but i need to go through this with a big heart, with sincerity and of course, no hatred. thats make me different from others. kan?

btw, i feel this ramadhan i didnt get some chill la not like before this, idk but setakat tiga hari ni, i feel a bit depressed mungkin sebab saya emotional with something yang triggers me until now. ramadhan lepas, even i lonely but i get to know someone and make my world better sikit walaupun nangis jugak hahahaha.

opsssssss, i need to hurry. haih time i nak menulis la timing tak kena, nak hujan kat luar tu, i have something to say........ lets meet in part 2 :))