Some days, 24 hours is too much to stay put in, so I take the day hour by hour, moment by moment. I break the task, the challenge, the fear into small, bite-size pieces. I can handle a piece of fear, depression, anger, pain, sadness, loneliness, illness. I actually put my hands up to my face, one next to each eye, like blinders on a horse.
I've cried, and you'd think I'd be better for it, but the sadness just sleeps, and it stays in my spine the rest of my life.
entahlah, aku taktahu nak rasa apa sekarang. kadang, seorang datang, lepastu tinggalkan macam tu. buat macam tak ada apa yang berlaku, seorang lagi datang, jadi peneman. tapi sekejap. lepastu, pergi juga. everytime i need someone, there will be always a different people. nobody stays.
jadi kadang aku ambil masa seminggu reflect diri aku sendiri, aku buat salah apa? it break my heart when nobody trust you, dia tak confident yang boleh stay dalam hidup kau, even for a short time? bila jadi mcm ni, i trust yang distance jadikan seseorang walks away from your life. long distance ..ship (friend/relation) takkan menjadi lagi pula kalau jauh beribu batu. yea, i noted that.
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